All of the people I am

a poem

I am not one person, but three

Who I am 

Who I want to be 

and who I want others to see 

//

Ideally, I am one 

Ideally, I don't hide from the rising sun 

But on the horizon of midnight blue, the sun will blaze

And under her relentless gaze 

Through the three of me, rays dimly pass

Refracting my truths like marred stained glass.

//

You are not one, but three 

She declares each day to me 

I roll my eyes 

In circles as large as she is wise 

I stomp my feet and pout 

I KNOW, I throw my arms up to her and shout 

//

I know that who I am is not always who I want to be 

Like plastic flowers in a sea of daises

I wish to be as steadfast as reindeer moss 

That sprouts in even the worst of arctic frost

Though I know impatience and poor temperament well 

My wants and desires dance in parallel 

//

Sun, I wish to be more like you, I say 

Because even on days that are partridge gray

Your rise and fall is the most dependable thing I know 

Warming the world behind a thick shadow

And I’ve never seen a love so tender 

As the soft golds you cast before saying goodnight in splendor

//

I wish for others to see me the way that I see you 

Goodness that shines through and through 

Who loves humans and pines and ants the same 

Who embraces and warms and mingles without shame 

But the sun tells me that even she strays from grace 

To burn too bright is a grave mistake

//

I am not one person, but three

Each day is a journey to bridge these seas 

I want to take risks as grand as a stag’s leap

To be as creative as a paintbrush that weeps 

I yearn to be colorful like a peacock in strut 

To be ferocious like a deer in rut 

I wish to navigate the world with the intelligence of a Peregrine 

To withstand adversity like the eldest evergreen

To be as vulnerable as a grizzly is strong 

To bestow kindness that screams you belong 

//

I’m not sure there is human hood without contradiction 

To honor perfection is an act of fiction 

To strive for such is to live a fraction of life’s possibility 

So if I must walk beside the two that follow me, I’ll do so with dignity

And when my time comes, I hope there is but one 

Who imparts a love as grand as the sun.

---

It is always a treat to come back to poetry. My thanks to

Tommy Dixon

and

Alex Michael

for their support of this piece.

Tommy’s writing is bursting with beauty. His stories always linger with me in impressionable ways. Check out one of his newer pieces here:

talking to strangers

Alex has been exploring a 30-day writing challenge. He publishes once a day and his essays have been such a delight. His writing is as introspective as it is fun to read. Check out one of my favorite of the series here:

Surrender (4/30)