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Chad Smith's avatar

I find it interesting that one form narcissist gaslighting occurs is to get people to question themselves. And it's often really subtle. Ironically that very questioning is what starts normal people (like you and me) to crack the obfuscation. Your friend was right: it never occurs to narcissists that they might have done something unacceptable. Poignant reflections here, Haley. 🙏

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Haley Brengartner's avatar

So lovely to see you here, Chad! Thanks for your thoughts and for reading 💛 I find that interesting too and I wonder sometimes if the root of that fear could be extended periods of being gaslit

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Chad Smith's avatar

I imagine you're right. It almost makes interpersonal relationships an epistemological problem.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Loved this essay, Haley. There’s something about your writing that always feels like coming home.

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Haley Brengartner's avatar

Couldn’t imagine a better compliment 💛 thank you, Tommy

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CansaFis Foote's avatar

...i often fart similar thoughts to myself and my therapist, am i this, that or the other thing (OCD/ADD/ACDC/NARCisist/ETC), and recently have been trying to stop the wondrance at the wonder...what does it matter how I classify if I continually at least try and improve anything that i find struggled within?...appreciate the vividness of this scene and these thoughts...if we think we are, are we?...

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Haley Brengartner's avatar

I like that statement a lot: stopping the wonderance at the wonder. It's like purgatory I suppose. And you're right, what truly matters is trying to trying to continually improve from within. Thanks for the thoughtful comment. Seeing you in my comments always makes me happy.

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Perzen Patel's avatar

You have such a distinctive style of writing. Of taking us with you in that moment observing you. Years later when I stumbled into a library filled with hard cover books and I flip one open to read an essay I’ll instinctively know that’s a piece by Haley.

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Haley Brengartner's avatar

Perzen! Wow. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. This comment is so heartwarming and so reassuring. I appreciate you very much.

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Amanda's avatar

"I’m so grossly aware of myself that I am no longer within myself. My body and my consciousness split, staring at one another in a standoff." -- So relatable and I believe a part of being human. Those of us who know what it is like to be around narcissists I think also always live with some fear of being one. Thanks for sharing.

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