To be or not to be
what is satisfaction and do we need it?
The gentleman in the car next to me dipped his hat with a soft smile. I sang louder. As easily recitable as the alphabet, the words to "Vienna" by Billy Joel breezed out of my lips. Treble clefs and musical notes twirled around. With the emergence of a smile came the melodic reminder that life is not the race towards ultimate fulfillment that I often confuse it to be.
But when the words,
You got your passion, you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
flowed through my stereo, the musical notes clattered to my floorboards. My singing fell to silence. Perplexion replaced joy.
Only fools are satisfied. I repeated those words over and over, questioning what he was trying to convey, positioning myself in the debate. I wandered in and around my head while Billy sang life into the confines of my car.
What does it mean to be satisfied? What role does satisfaction play in our lives? Does the pursuit of satisfaction intersect one’s search for meaning in life? Is satisfaction a necessary component of a meaningful life? Does the constant pursuit of satisfaction drive human progress or human restlessness? Is satisfaction derived from one’s current state of being or by meeting one’s desires? Is there an ethical dimension to satisfaction?
Questioning satisfaction twisted into questioning fundamental aspects of the human experience. As I attempted to answer my questions, I recognized the extent to which they touch the nature of desires, aspirations, and what it means to lead a fulfilling life. I couldn’t answer these questions alone. As I ventured outside the boundaries of my own mind, the answers varied like the shades of the rainbow.
I asked my peers two questions;
What does it mean to be satisfied?
Should it be one’s goal to find satisfaction?
What does it mean to be satisfied?
In equal proportions, I received expected and unexpected responses. There were those that aligned more closely with our dictionary definitions. They are believers that satisfaction is a function of various factors that influence an individual's overall well-being and contentment.
“To be satisfied is to use an appetite or organ for its intended purpose.”
“Expectations are fulfilled in a way that results in content.”
“Satisfied to me is being fulfilled Or things meet or exceed expectations. It fills a need or a want.”
And then there were those whose answers did not align with the dictionary definition - believing either that satisfaction is an artificial construct of the physical world or a subjective matter too complex to define.
“Would you get mad if I said satisfaction is a made-up emotional subjective word that can strictly be based on circumstances and nothing deeper than that?”
“To be satisfied means to know that I am fulfilled by knowing and being in a relationship with my creator. This looks like having peace that surpasses all understanding because my satisfaction doesn't depend on myself or my circumstances but the God who created it all.”
“Satisfaction is a state you feel nothing is missing”
I adored the responses that probed the question further. Painting more grey areas into the picture. They contemplated the differences between short-term and long-term satisfaction. And further, does our vernacular typically only align with one form of satisfaction? The kind that is quick to come and quick to go, or the kind that is harder to build but also harder to tear down. They pondered the definition of neighboring words - distinguishing optimization, contentment, and joy from satisfaction. They questioned the meaning of fulfillment. How we spend our days. What consumes our minds.
Should it be one’s goal to find satisfaction?
The answers to this question brought a house divided. More cut and dry than the previous question, I found no answers that took the middle of the road.
My hunch walking into these conversations is that those who said yes would have a definition of satisfaction more closely aligned with the dictionary. My hunch was wrong. Most responses ultimately landed on satisfaction not being a goal regardless of their definition.
“What if I told you that satisfaction is a silly thing to pursue even a waste of time?”
“In an earthly sense, there is nothing wrong with chasing satisfaction but when you know nothing on this earth can bring that satisfaction it's like running down a road that leads nowhere.”
“If the goal is always satisfaction, then we lose the ability to make sacrifices and compromises for those we love. Sometimes compromise won’t allow us to feel satisfied. Doing the right thing doesn’t always come with full satisfaction.“
“The question circumvents satisfaction. If you make satisfaction a goal you are bypassing the very notion of satisfaction which is accepting good enough.”
Through these conversations, I learned that despite the perceived differences in what satisfaction means, the perceived purpose of satisfaction, despite one’s beliefs, was generally the same. My peers believe that their answers to the question, “What does it mean to be satisfied?”, will ultimately drive how you operate in life. They believe that one’s answer to that question will put them in constant pursuit of trying to gain from the world their definition of satisfaction. It will determine how we spend our time. What we think about. What consumes us.
I thought these conversations would pave the way towards feeling *satisfied* with my own convictions about what it means to be satisfied. They did not. But the colorful differences between the convictions of others allowed me to grow more comfortable in the nuance and subjectivity about pleasure and contentedness here on earth. Satisfaction comes not as a standalone topic but as a topic inextricably tied to a myriad of matters about life, spirituality, faith, and creationism. Satisfaction can be both a state of being and a journey. For some it is objective. For others, subjective. A worthwhile pursuit. And a futile pursuit.
Satisfaction cannot be prescribed nor defined. We cannot confine it nor constrain it. Satisfaction is a deeply personal alignment of one’s heart, purpose, and intent.
When we ponder what it means to be satisfied, we ponder what it means to be whole.
This piece was a collaboration of my loved ones - I could not have pulled this together without their thoughts and hearts. Thank you to Auston, Lauren,
, Brooke, Lauren, , , John, Antonio, Jason, Phil, and my friends of Twitter.What are your thoughts about what it means to be satisfied? Let me know in the comments!
I think satisfaction is a contentedness with how things are. Not necessarily a fulfillment of your wishes or desires, but an acceptance of things when they fall short of those desires. A feeling that everything is still ok. It’s entirely possible to achieve all of your goals and still not be satisfied.
...satisfaction is a cold glass of something in the shade of nothing...